Kocham lato. Lato zasługuje na wszystko, co najlepsze. A przede wszystkim na to, żeby było po prostu dobre. Ale kilka lat temu wyszło dokładnie odwrotnie i przytrafiło mi się lato, o którym wolałabym nie pamiętać. Fatalne. Najgorsze w moim życiu.
Jakkolwiek idiotycznie to zabrzmi, w tej upalnej beznadziei przemówiły do mnie nie truskawki, nie hamak i nie rzeka, ale Meredith Grey. Przemówiła od razu z rozmachem i w dużej dawce, bo pamiętam, że zobaczyłam wtedy ciurkiem całe 6 sezonów Grey’s Anatomy. Tegoroczne lato zapowiada się co prawda o dosłowne niebo lepiej od tamtego, ale nie do końca wytłumaczalna słabość do serialu pozostała i wraca do mnie wraz z nieprzyzwoicie długimi wieczorami. Prawdopodobnie jest to klasyczny przypadek guilty pleasure. Powodów upatruję w końcowych mądrościach Meredith, które jakoś zawsze pasują! Zdradzam „moje” najbardziej trafione:
Nobody wakes up thinking: „My world will explode today. My world will change.” Nobody thinks that. But, sometimes, it happens. Sometimes, we wake up, we face our fears. We take them by the hand. And we stand there waiting, hoping, ready for anything.
The goal of any surgery is total recovery – to come out better than you were before. Some patients heal quickly and feel immediate relief. For others the healing happens gradually, and it’s not until months or even years later that you realize you don’t hurt anymore. So the challenge after any surgery is to be patient. But if you can make it through the first weeks and months, if you believe that healing is possible, then you can get your life back.
- Just when we think we’ve figured things out, the universe throws us a curve ball. So we have to improvise, we find happiness in unexpected places, we find our way back to the things that matter the most. The universe is funny that way, sometimes it just has a way of making sure we wind up exactly where we belong.
Sometimes the past is something you just can’t let go of. And sometimes the past is something we’ll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present.
They take pictures of mountain climbers at the top of a mountain. They’re smiling, ecstatic, triumphant. They don’t take pictures along the way cos who wants to remember the rest of it. We push ourselves because we have to, not because we like it. The relentless climb, the pain and anguish of taking it to the next level. Nobody takes pictures of that. Nobody wants to remember. We just wanna remember the view from the top. The breathtaking moment at the edge of the world. That’s what keeps us climbing. And it’s worth the pain. That’s the crazy part. It’s worth anything.
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we’re dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance.
Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.
Some days the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and improbably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again.
Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough – it’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact, there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do – as long as you choose your moments wisely.
When something begins, you generally have no idea how it’s going to end. The house you’re going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.
Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? […] It’s not a day on a calendar, not a birthday, not a new year. […] It’s an event — big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world. […] Letting go of old habits, old memories. […] What’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. […] But it’s also important to remember that amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.
It can be scary to find out you’ve been wrong about something but we can’t be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they’ll never be the same, for better or for worse. We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe. The more we’re willing to accept what is and not what we thought, we’ll find ourselves exactly where we belong.
If you love someone, tell ’em. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing, even if you are scared that it’ll cause problems, even if you are scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and say it out loud. And then you go from there.
Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. […] Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. […] But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.